Horrible Day

Today, 28th of April year 2010 is one of my most horrible day in my life.
If you did follow my blog, you will know that I am persuing my queen's guide this year. However, things got suck up.
At first I was told that everything was fine and I went ahead.
Then, few days ago, I was told that BSS will be held earlier this year so that means that I cannot do my BSS this year but I still can do it next year.
It has been 2 weeks since I really got my proper sleep and eat.
I think I had my gastric back.
I worked damn hard for the test(BAKP).
I really hope that I can become a queens.
Though I was sad for being unable to take my queens this year, I was like its ok la.
I can still do it next year ma.
After many many busy n hectic days, today it has some sort of coming to the end preparation before the camp.
I went to the orphanage for my 3 months service and so on so dat I can complete my service before due date.
Done with everything including the arrangements, suddenly I got a call my my district commisioner.
I was told that I CANNOT take my queens anymore.
The national training commisioner is not giving me the green light though the national chief commisioner did.
So, as conclusion I can no more be a queens guide.
All my hard work n hope has gone down to drain.
A huge dissapointment.
hmm......
I was offered another thing that is becoming the leftenan aka pemimpin muda for my school and also to get my warrant.
I accepted that offer due to my deep interest in guiding.

Thanks to all the guiders and teachers and students aka members and friends that willing to lend a helping hand during my journey.
I really appreciate it very much.
Thank you again expecially to Pn Chan, Penang state comissioner, Pn Lam, SPU district commissioner, Pn Hindon, my school ex co-curicular activities teacher, Pn Komala, SMKCBW guides teacher, Pn Chew, SMKCBW headmistress and to everyone that had helped me.


Then, got a call from one of my ex.
Again, this happened and my feeelings got mixed up again.
I tried to put ... away and I thought that I've made it.
hmmm...
I just hope that things will go my way since the faith had let me down so many times and each time is a very bad fall.

GOD!!! I AM CONFUSED!!!